Editors' Note: Reading this won't make you any straighter or gayer than you already are.

It freaked you. I don't remember the whole dream, but what I recall from it was that you told me you'd give me a massage -- if I brushed my teeth. And, man, when I told you about it, you kind of shut down. It was weird.

Man, I can't believe you would just go there. Since I spend a lot of time with you at work and outside of work, it's not surprising that you would crawl into my dream. Was your reaction just a gut reaction? Did you react like that because I'm gay? Or ... ?

I'd probably have the same reaction if any guy told me that. But I declined to consider that it was your dream and interpreted it through my own filter. When I have given massages, apart from rubbing my mother's shoulders, there is typically secondary intent, even if one claims otherwise.

In the straight world there is this character, everybody knows him -- he's " that massage dude” -- – and women will know exactly who I am talking about. He's always like, "Sit down, girl, let me rub your neck. I know you got a boyfriend, it's cool, why are you so uptight about a little massage?" He can say anything he wants, but he's really taking a battering ram to the gates of Grope City

Yeah -- – we do. It's just a level of comfort, I guess, and maybe we're building community or something. Like, when we're in our space, we're celebrating our common bond , and one way that's expressed is with hugs, an arm around someone's shoulder, whatever. It's casual, but also pervasive and powerful. I actually really appreciate that aspect of gaydom.

I think that leads to the assumption that a lot of straight people have that gays are just screwing each other left, right and center every chance they get.

I thought that was one of the benefits of being gay.

It doesn't mean I expect jewelry or anything.

I am adjusting to it. On an intellectual level, I know it is the ultimate form of flattery. It means you're comfortable, you trust me, and to tell the truth it means a lot more to me than I let on.

No one else does that to you? Not any guy friends, nor women FRIENDS?

One lady friend is a big toucher. I know so many dudes who were completely confused by her doing that though, especially in college. Myself included.

Interesting. Was she aware that people were confused by it?

I suppose. I am still intrigued by the way you weirded out. When I told you, a big straight wall went up. You tried to hide it, you were cordial, but I could tell I i hit a nerve. You were kind of distant, and I let you have some space. Then the next day, I asked if I over-gayed on you, and you said yes. It was just interesting, because I realized, OK , here's Jeff's breaking point: Don't tell him about your gay dreams if he's in them.