Editors' Note: Reading this won't make you any straighter or gayer than you already are.

Gays Think Man in Tights Is H-O-T: Apparently This is News

"wow poor superman i guess he had no way of knowing guys were going to watch his movie for there sexlually enjoyment. why is it that anything that was good and old fashion and family orientally.the sex of the wrong kind has to think its all about them.ahahahah to funny. they are trying to take over anything that if for Good and Godly and pervert it to some sick thing to
there liking ewwwwwwwww"

Signed, Short Saint

Seriously. We get messages like this all the time, and I've noticed that there is an inverse relationship between the author's level of Bible-based intolerance and their ability to spell correctly. What is that about? Is there a commandment somewhere that says, “Thou shalt not use spell-check?”

Man Forgets Entirely About Brunch

“Perhaps if any of you have ever read anything about homosexual psychology, you will find that in fact, most gay men will lose interest in gay activities after their 30th birthday.”

Signed, AuroraPheonix777

Now, on to reader questions.

I go to a bear bar in New York ("bears" are less stereotypical gay guys who couldn't care less about fashion and who never watch ‘Queer Eye' or ‘Will & Grace' and yes there are millions of us). There is a bartender there who has insisted for a couple of years that he is straight.

But why on earth would a straight guy want to work in a gay bar, when he could work in a straight bar and meet women, and furthermore not have to worry about what to tell his friends, family and prospective girlfriends about where he works? I mean, what does he say to people? On the surface he seems gay-friendly, but I've caught him being a little snide about gays at times. [He complained once about "all the queens who come in and talk about Judy Garland" when I've NEVER had a conversation about Judy Garland in this or any other gay bar -- except when he brought it up!]

He dates women -- even brings some of them to the bar, which I find tacky [after all most gay men go to gay bars to meet other gays and get away from straights for a while] -- but lots of gay/bi guys dated women and more in their experimental stage. Is there really such a thing as a "straight" bartender in a gay bar? And if so -- why?

Wouldn't a genuine hetero guy -- no matter how "tolerant" -- want to work in a bar where he could hang out with other heteros and meet women? One can't even say it's the tips because this is a working class bar. He'd probably make more money working at an upscale bar patronized by women with six figure salaries, no?

Signed, Bigbarnone

It's not that unusual to find a straight guy working in a gay environment. Been to a gay strip club lately? You'd be surprised at how many of the dancers are hetero. They do it because they like the attention, and the money is good. It doesn't make them gay. Even though your hangout is a working class bar, I would bet that Straight Guy makes good tips from the bear patrons whose very identities are rooted in masculine qualities.

Consider, too, that maybe he enjoys the company of men or, like you, wants a break from the straight world. I would lighten up on him. He obviously doesn't care what people think about his working there and in fact, it probably wins him some brownie points for being an enlightened straight man. If he talks about gay people in a “snide” way, I would certainly call him on it, but there are plenty of gay people who make snide remarks about Judy Garland-lovers (blasphemers!) so again, look at it in context.

First, I need to state for the record: we edited out part of your letter, man. We're columnists, not pimps, and we just can't help you make the illicit connection you know you asked us for. Now then, there's a certain “straight” bartender at a bear bar in New York who you might hit up. Otherwise, I have no idea. Straight guys don't do this.

What makes a guy "straight" if he will have sex with you?  Does he have to be married or have a girlfriend? Like sports? Or just say he's straight?

This is a slippery slope, and you could get very hurt. Imagine if you find a "straight" guy who agrees to this (OK, already he's not 100 percent straight, right?) and in the middle of having sex you notice his collection of DVDs which includes 'Golden Girls' and 'Project Runway, Season One.' Fantasy ruined. You are screwed. And not in the good way.

A gay guy can use and abuse you and not call you the next day just as well as any straight guy can. As Anita told Maria in the great classic 'West Side Story:' " Forget that boy and find another/ One of your own kind / Stick to your own kind!" 

Most gay men can act straight if you ask them nicely -- except the ones who quote show tunes, of course.